Motherhood Anxiety and Depression: You Are Not Alone

Motherhood is one of the most beautiful and rewarding, yet challenging journey’s a woman can go on. Some will find motherhood easy, fun and joyous, while others may have moments of sadness, anger, frustration and everything in between. When mental illness comes into play, some days motherhood can feel like the most challenging job in the world. Let’s try and break down all of the feelings and emotions that come attached to motherhood.

Depression

Remember, to provide and give yourself to another human, you must first be healthy enough for yourself. Bring into the mix genetics and hormones, stress from motherhood and life, and every other possible factor that can affect your mental health, the result is often a sensitive, emotional and tired human being.

So, if you find yourself feeling absolutely worn out, it is so important to seek help. Ignoring or fighting through the depression is not the answer, and remember, you are not alone in feeling sad. Just because you have a child, this does not mean your life and your goals are fulfilled. Depression in mothers is normal and you should not feel guilty or ashamed for how you are feeling or for seeking help from a therapist.

Anxiety

Before becoming a mom, you probably thought you had experienced the worst of anxiety and while this may be true for some, many of you were probably introduced to a whole new level of anxiety. You quickly realized you are responsible for another human’s life and have an entire new set of responsibilities on your shoulders. Well, if you don’t know already, motherhood is a never-ending learning journey, with ups and downs, and lots of twists and turns.

Here’s a few tips on how to overcome the anxiety you may be feeling:

• Take time for yourself

This is so important. Whether you’re a new mom or have a teenager, take time for yourself. If it’s just a few hours or a whole day, spend time doing something you enjoy. This may be alone, with friends, or family, but whatever it is, make sure you’re having fun and fulfilling your own wants and needs.

• Accept that your child will make mistakes

Nobody is perfect, not me, not you, and not your child. Accepting the fact that your child will make a mistake, that they will make many mistakes, can help save a lot of frustration and anger over the years. With acceptance, you will be able to spend more time learning, teaching, and coping with the challenges your family may be facing.

• Worrying is normal

Yes, you will find yourself worrying about your child. But you cannot let the worry overcome your life. Find ways to cope with your worrying. Half of the time, a worry is just a worry and chances are it won’t actually happen. The worry is just living in your mind. To overcome the worry, find an activity that takes your mind off of everything, this can be cleaning, reading, talking on the phone or going for a walk. Find what works best for you.

More on this:

https://psychcentral.com/blog/motherhood-and-depression/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/dont-worry-mom/201206/mothers-anxiety

What is Depression?

Everyone has felt sad or blue at some point in their life. Those feelings usually pass within a short period of time, but depression lasts longer (i.e., for at least 2 weeks) and interferes with daily life.

Depression is considered a mood disorder that causes people to feel helpless and hopeless and with the tendency to beat up on themselves. Depression also impacts your behaviors, or in other words, what you do and don’t do. For example, depression can interfere with working, eating, and sleeping.

Depression can also cause physical symptoms like chronic pain, stomach aches, and headaches. It can even trigger anger and long periods of restlessness. Ugh!

Simply put, depression can be a drag and exhausting. People with depression may find it hard to participate in everyday activities and may withdraw from friends and family. Depression can even leave you feeling like life is not worth living, triggering thoughts of death or suicide.

As you can see, depression can be a debilitating condition; however, please know that depression is highly treatable!

This isn’t a condition you can simply “shake off” or one that you must suffer with throughout life. In fact, people that believe there is no solution, suffer needlessly. 

Licensed psychologists are highly trained to help people recover from depression. Getting help is very important because untreated depression can last for a long time and worsen other illnesses. If you are one of the many undiagnosed people, please consider giving therapy a try.

References: 

National Institute of Mental Health www.nimh.gov

American Psychological Association (APA) www.apa.org 

Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders Fifth Edition (DSM-5)

The Effects of Mass Incarceration on Families

When a family member becomes incarcerated, they are not the only one who is affected. The family of the imprisoned is also greatly affected. Though this is a known fact, the surprise comes in the percentage of individuals who have a family member that has spent time in jail or prison. The bottom line is that when an individual is incarcerated, there is a ripple effect in how and who it affects.

The Facts

A staggering study was recently published and reported that 45 percent of Americans have had an immediate family member spend time in jail or prison. The term “immediate family member” refers to a parent, sibling, spouse or partner, stepsibling or foster sibling. When the scope is widened to extended family, the grandparents and grandchildren, cousins, aunts and uncles, nieces and nephews, and in-laws are also included. As immediate jumps to extended, so does the percentage of the amount of family members who have had a family member spend time in prison, now we’re looking at 64 percent.

With these findings, it seems that the real victims are the family members who have had a member spend time behind bars. Managing a household, growing up without a loved one and doing this thing we call life can be very difficult in this sense. Further findings show that family members with a loved one in prison are more likely to struggle with physical and mental health problems. The children of incarcerated individuals are also likely to experience struggles in their academic performance due to the stress they feel of having a loved one in jail or prison.

Mass incarceration must come to an end in the United States. The effects on family members of an incarcerated individual are long-lasting and serious.

More on this:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/evidence-based-living/201903/the-ripple-effects-mass-incarceration

Stress Management for CO’s

If you have ever been in a prison, you know that the environment can make you feel tense, unsafe, and insecure. These feelings are usually something that a person does not have to go through on a regular basis. However, if you are a correctional officer, this is your normal state of being. Having to endure these feelings constantly can take a toll on one’s mental health and it’s important to know how to manage this work-related stress.

How to Manage Stress

At the end of the day, your health comes first before any job or anything else. If you are finding yourself having a hard time managing your stress, here’s some helpful tips on how to manage your stress.

1.    Eliminate Unnecessary Stress

If possible, you should be avoiding stressful people or situations at work. If the person or situation is not something you need to be a part of, then it’s okay to say no and walk away.

2.    Accept the Things You Cannot Change

How others think, feel, behave, and act is out of your control. When you learn to accept that, only then can you focus on changing your own reactions and responses to certain people and situations. You are in charge of how you think, feel, and react and you are your most important tool in finding peace.

3.    Make Sure you Find Time to Relax and Unwind

Finding time to relax after work is important for anyone, but it’s especially important when you are in a highly stressful career. Spending time with your loved ones can release endorphins and allow you to untense from the stress of work. It’s important to not constantly isolate yourself when you are feeling down.

4.    Practice a Healthy Lifestyle

Your mental health is only as good as your physical health. You can better your physical, and in turn your mental health, by exercising regularly, eating healthy, avoiding alcohol and drugs, and getting enough sleep. When you feel good about yourself, your self-confidence and self-esteem increases which can help reduce your stress.

If you’re a CO and interested in joining a community of your peers that want to work on managing stress, please DM or email (psychdrmanning@gmail.com) me today so I can share information with you about a stress management course I'm currently creating exclusively for COs.

More on this:

Corrections One

PTSD and Correctional Officers: What You Should Know

PTSD, or post-traumatic stress disorder, is defined as a condition of persistent mental and emotional stress occurring as a result of injury or severe psychological shock, typically involving disturbance of sleep and constant vivid recall of the experience, with dulled responses to others and to the outside world. When you think of PTSD, what comes to mind? Most people think of army veterans, police officers, or doctors, but there is another occupation that is not getting the attention it deserves. Correctional officers have a highly stressful job that can have negative effects on their mental health and it’s important to have an open discussion about how to fix this issue.

Correctional Officer Mental Health Statistics

According to a California correctional officer survey conducted by University of California, Berkeley, 1 in 3 correctional officers have experienced at least one symptom of PTSD. As a point of comparison, about 1 in 7 combat veterans are diagnosed with PTSD. Forty percent of officers have reported having nightmares about an event at work that was frightening, horrible, or upsetting.

The Effects of PTSD

Without proper treatment, these symptoms of PTSD can affect their everyday life and slowly deteriorate their mental health. Post-traumatic stress disorder not only effects the lives of the correctional officer, but it can also put strain on their relationships and lives of their friends and families. If you or someone you know are struggling with mental health, it is important to contact your doctor to get the help you deserve.

The Importance of Discussing Mental Health for Correctional Officers

The topic of mental health is an important discussion to have in any profession, but it’s especially important for a highly stressful job such as a correctional officer. The things that CO’s witness or experience daily, such as vicious assaults or mandatory overtime, would cause stress to anyone.  I see firsthand in the prison I serve, that there are, unfortunately, not enough resources and discussions being had about how these events mentally affect them. A recent traumatic event at my prison has lit a fire in my spirit to assist COs in managing the challenges they face. I believe that if we start to have this discussion now and take the necessary steps towards better mental health, then the quality of life for correctional officers can be improved.

The Statistics on Mental Health

According to a California correctional officer survey conducted by University of California, Berkeley, 50% of officers say they rarely feel safe at work. More than one-third of all correctional officers have been told by someone they know that they have been more anxious or depressed since working in corrections. One in three of them have experienced at least one symptom of PTSD and ten percent of them have had suicidal thoughts. These statistics are alarming but given the statistics on how much violence CO’s must endure in their careers, these statistics aren’t surprising.

What Can Be Done

 I truly believe that COs deserve to have the mental health resources they need more readily available to them. They need to understand that talking to someone does not make them “weak” or “crazy,” it makes them human. There must be an open and non-judgmental discussion involving mental health for CO’s and they should be able to easily access the help they deserve. 

Therefore, I'm on a mission to build a community of COs that are ready to hit the reset button on their lives. You've got one life to live; don't wait until retirement to start fully living it. DM me if you’re ready to reclaim your life by using therapeutic tools that have been proven to reduce stress! 

Why Aren't Minority College Students Receiving the Help They Need?

According to a study by Psychiatric Services, minority students are less diagnosed with mental illnesses than white students, but the suicide attempt rate of minorities compared to their white counterparts were fairly equal. The study also shows that those who identify as multiracial or Asian/Pacific Islander were more likely to admit that they felt hopelessness, too depressed to function, and overwhelmed with anger. Why is this? Dr. Monnica Williams wrote a great piece on why this occurs.

Stigma and Judgment

Many in the African American community have negative attitudes toward people who obtain mental health care, even from those who have mental disorders themselves. Some may see it as airing out “dirty laundry” or that it will reflect badly on their families. Whatever the case may be, it is important to end the stigma around mental health.

Concerns about Treatment and Therapy Overall

Many African Americans are concerned about the treatment not working and they see therapy as a luxury for white people. This mindset leads to a lack of proper mental health treatment.

The Expense of Therapy and Lack of Insurance

Due to lower incomes, a reduced amount of employment opportunities, and lack of private insurance, many African Americans are concerned with the financial burden of seeking help.

More on This:

Psychiatric Services

The Importance of Providing Mental Health Help to the Incarcerated

It’s sad that today in our world it needs to be stated that incarcerated individuals deserve just as much access to mental health care as the rest of the population. If proper mental health help is given to inmates, we may see a reduced number of inmates and a lower rate of recidivism. This will not happen overnight, but if we start taking steps in this direction now, we may see the benefits of inmates having access to proper mental health care.

The Changing Lives and Changing Outcomes Program

According to the American Psychological Association, Robert Morgan, PhD is using this program to reduce antisocial thinking and behavioral patterns, otherwise known as “criminalness.” He believes the combination of mental health care and criminalness treatment is critical because inmates learn not only how to cope with mental illness, but they also learn important life skills like how to challenge antisocial thought patterns and how to create connections with others.

The Benefits of Pre-Booking and Court-Based Diversion Programs

According to Psychology Today, Dr. Nneka Jones Tapia believes that these programs will reduce time of incarceration for mentally ill individuals in prison. However, current programs are not reducing recidivism. She believes that in order to be truly effective, the care starts at the jail and must be continued when they are released from jail.

My work with the boys in juvenile prison at the New Jersey Training School for Boys underscores my passion for expanding programs like this. Everyone deserves the space to learn and get a second chance, and they show me every day why I do what I do.

Receiving the Help We Need – Women & Mental Health

A wise woman once said, “We need to reshape our own perception of how we view ourselves. We have to step up as women and take the lead”. Her name is Beyoncé. As we celebrate Women’s Equality Day and the passage of the 19th Amendment, giving white women the right to vote (women of color didn’t obtain real suffrage until the 1965 Voting Rights Act), it’s hard not to think about all that still has to be done. The Beyoncé vibes are flowing right now and it’s time we #GetInFormation! Where do we start?

Mental Health

Before we go out into the world and transform it, we must take care of ourselves first to be sure we are prepared for what society throws at us. Taking care of our mental health is a great place to start. Through receiving the help that we need, you may not know it, but we are also working towards ending the stigma surrounding mental health.

Stereotyping Women of Color

Admitting that you need help and seeking it is often the most difficult part of the process for many women. For women of color, this becomes even more difficult. To understand why, you must know that there are three images that society has created for women of color. They are:

·         The strong black woman – history makers (Beyoncé, Sojourner Truth, Michelle Obama)

·         The angry black woman – impatient, violent, illogical

·         The Jezebel – sexualized black woman

Women of color are constantly fighting these stereotypes, making it difficult to move through the world without a layer of stress hanging over us to overcome these labels. There is a stigma against seeking help for anxiety and stress which gets in the way of finding the resources we need. Not wanting another label of “weak” or “crazy” has had an impact on how many women start therapy.

Taking Care of Your Mental Health as a Woman of Color

It’s often easier for black women to seek help from a professional who is also of color because there is less of a cultural barrier. Chances are that the professional will better understand the client because they have shared experiences within their culture. This may not be the case for all, and it’s important to find a mental health professional that you feel comfortable with and that you feel is best for you.

More on this:

Anxiety and Depression Association of America

Positive and Negative Effects of Social Media

Most of the time, social media is great. It allows us to stay connected with friends & family, and it gives us an opportunity to share life’s greatest pleasures with them. Our brains literally release “happy” hormones when we log on. We can share stories, photos and videos with our followers and friends, and learn new things. Now more than ever, people are learning to use social media therapeutically. It can be a great way to relax, collect your thoughts and reflect.

The Positives

How you decide to use each platform is up to you. One way in which you can use social media is as a mood booster. To do this, find accounts that post about positivity and inspiration, and you just may find that interacting with this type of content actually is good for your mental health. It lifts your spirits and helps you think positively, even on days that you are struggling.

There are also many great support groups with Facebook and even Instagram. You will find people going through similar experiences and hearing their stories can often help you through your own struggles.

The Negatives

If you interact with the wrong people, get bullied or are constantly finding yourself engaging in negative content, you may want to take a step back. Also, if you find yourself becoming distant from friends and family because social media is consuming too much of your time, don’t be afraid to put your phone down for the day and enjoy the company of others. You want to make sure that you aren’t trying to cover your problems with social media, and that you are taking care of yourself and your mental health first.

Find a community that resonates with you. They’re out there, and there’s no reason to log on just to feel badly about yourself.

More on this:

Psychology Today