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Here are 7 reasons why you should break up with stress:⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
1. It causes memory loss⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
2. It can cause weight gain ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
3. Increases the risk of cancer⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
4. It is linked to high blood pressure⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
5. Increases the risk of heart disease and diabetes⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
6. Increases the likelihood of developing depression and/or anxiety⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
7. Can cause skin problems (e.g. hives) ⠀⠀
Our thoughts have a funny way of tricking us into believing nonsense, especially when we're stressed. ⠀⠀
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I previously worked with a woman who convinced herself she was a "bad mom" because she was so stressed trying to juggle her career, children, and marriage. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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When we explored facts to support her belief that she was a bad mother, she struggled to come up with concrete evidence 🤷🏼♀️. I'll never forget when she told me, "my friends breastfed their children longer than I did". That was one of the negative thoughts that tricked her into believing she was a bad mother. ⠀⠀
The fact is, we have millions of thoughts a day and many of them create false narratives. If you have a negative belief that impacts your mood, it's time to examine how true the thought might be. Let's stop accepting our negative beliefs as facts. ⠀⠀⠀
By the way, my former client eventually recognized that she was a loving, caring, and supportive mother through our fact-finding process.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Lately, I've told my clients, “Our mind is like a car. Sometimes we are in the driver’s seat. Other times we are the passengers. In other moments, we aren’t even in the car”.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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When we are in a state of fear, the mind is usually creating worst-case scenarios that often don’t happen. We can spend days, weeks, or even years, letting the mind drive itself. When we allow that to happen, it's easy to crash into panic and depression.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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When you find yourself in a state of fear, jump into the driver’s seat by taking a few deep breaths and asking yourself:⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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- Is there an alternate way of looking at this situation?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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- Have I considered all the facts of the situation, or have I just looked at the most negative ones?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
These questions can begin to pull you out of fear by helping you to see that your fear-based thoughts aren’t completely accurate.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Fear is a choice. Let's take steps to choose differently.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Before each flight we are reminded to put on our masks before assisting anyone else. Once I became a mother, I remember thinking that instruction was obscured. I thought a "good mother" would put the mask on her child first, but eventually realized that mindset would not help my son in the long run. In a flight emergency, securing my safety first allows me to assist my child with whatever comes next.
This analogy serves as a great reminder of how we should approach our self-care.
"But my kids need me to drop everything for them!" I hear you, but just imagine how you’d show up for your children if you took time to eat a healthy meal, hydrate, or took a few deep breaths?
"My boss needs me to submit a 20-page report in a few days. I don't have time to put myself first!" I hear you too. Did you know that taking care of yourself, especially during crunch time, can help your productivity? If you find yourself trying to barrel through a task, take a few minutes to stretch or get some fresh air.
If you truly want to be of service to others, you must make yourself a priority. Simply put, your mask must go first.
#PriortizeSelfCare #MeFirst
"Beyoncé doesn't spend time reading feedback from trolls before she lights a stage on fire". This was feedback I gave a teenage client a few years ago.
She was an intelligent young woman who was contemplating giving up an opportunity to do morning announcements all because she was dwelling on what the "mean girls" would think.
At her school, morning announcements were given to well-rounded students selected by their teachers and school administrators.
My client was selected on her merit. She worked hard for that opportunity, but almost gave it up until I challenged her to see that her focus on her haters would take her off her A game.
Dwelling on what others think, especially haters, takes us away from being our best selves. If you find yourself focused on what people not in your corner are thinking, STOP.
You're doing yourself a disservice.
You simply can't produce great work or accomplish goals dwelling on negativity.
As DJ Khaled would say, "The person who wants to distract you from your studies or your career with their drama? That's a “they".
Train your mind to stay away from "they".
#DrMG #GetYourMindRight #MindTraining #ByeHater #DrManningGibbs
"Our minds are like VHS tapes; we can tape over our negative thoughts!”
Back in the day, my brothers would record music videos over and over again on the same VHS tape. One day, there’d be a Naughty By Nature video and the next a Queen Latifah video making their heads bob.
I never knew the technical aspects of re-recording on a VHS tape. What I recall is that you pressed the “rewind” button and then hit “record”. That simple process got rid of the old recording and then “Voilà!" You have a new video.
Let's take that concept when you replay negative thoughts for days, months and even years. I’m here to let you know that you can press “Rewind and Re-record" when that comes up.
Instead, repeat “I accept myself as I am” several times a day.
Mantras and affirmations aren’t magic bullets, but they are effective tools we can pull out of our self-care toolbox to help get our minds right and to stress less.
In New Jersey, you can turn right on a red light except if there is a “Do Not Turn on Red” sign present.
I was at a red light with a sign clearly in view reminding me, “Do Not Turn on Red”. As I waited for the light to turn green, I heard the person behind me laying on their horn.
That driver eventually swerved around me, slowed down, and gave me the middle finger!
I immediately noticed how calm I was.
I wish I could say my reaction was because I am a wise, mature, and enlightened person, but the reality is that my morning routine of taking time to “get my mind right” helped me keep my cool that day.
Over the years, I have started my day by reading or listening to something uplifting.
I’ll never forget the words of one speaker I listened to one morning, “People can be like dump trucks. They need somewhere to dump their negativity and frustrations; don’t take their reactions personal‼️”
That day at the red light, that woman clearly needed a place to dump her anger and I just happen to be on the receiving end.
It can be easy to react in those situations, but I strongly believe setting a positive tone for your day can help protect your peace throughout the day.
As I sat in my car, I remembered that positive message I previously heard. Recalling that people can sometimes be in dump truck mode, helped me to reframe how I saw that driver. Here is some of what I said to myself that kept me calm:
“We just came out of 2020, one person gave you the finger and so what. Girl bye, there are so many people hurting right now and looking for somewhere to dump their hurt and pain. Extend that woman grace and loving-kindness. Her anger isn’t about you.”
Well, my internal motivational coach tightened me right on up.
I am sharing this because intentionally setting the tone for your day is important. There will always be situations that frustrate us, but I want you to consider creating a positive morning routine that can help preserve your peace throughout your day.
Self-care or die! Shout out to the @Diddy voting slogan, “Vote or Die”, for the inspiration. Sounds dramatic, right?
Here’s the thing, shocking statements motivate us to act. It is ok to be gentle with ourselves, but I believe that we can sometimes benefit from a shock to our systems.
Why am I taking this approach to urge you to prioritize your self-care? In recent months, I have come across way too many people who view self-care as optional and I’m concerned about the impact it will inevitably have on them and our society overall.
If we don’t carve out time to care for ourselves, it can result in death on different levels – emotional death, spiritual death, and can even result in physical death.
A client recently shared they were “drained” after interacting with a family member who has a difficult personality. He felt obligated to help them with a health matter and during that time he felt his energy drain. Later in the day, he went to shoot some hoops and felt “much better”. Plugging into something enjoyable after that encounter was just what he needed to recharge.
We charge our cell phones, at minimum, once a day. Some of us get scared when our battery is only at half and rush to plug into a power source. Let’s apply that same level of concern to ourselves🔋
Had a hard day at work? Encountered a negative family member? I want your next thought to be, “How am I going to recharge❓” It could be going for a walk, calling a friend, swinging by the grocery store for your favorite ice cream.
Select something that makes you feel good. If you have the financial means, plan a spa day, schedule your next vacation, or book dinner with friends at our favorite restaurant.
Self-care is integral to your overall wellness. So, commit to plugging into activities, people, or places that help you recharge and rejuvenate. #SelfCareOrDie
Anyone who really knows me, knows I love a good laugh. When something really tickles me, I have a choppy “ha-ha” that comes from the pit of my stomach and is sometimes followed by a high-pitched squeal. A good belly laugh makes me feel lost in the moment and like I don’t have a care in the world.
The past year has been very challenging. A pandemic, systemic racism, and continuous uncertainty about what the next few months hold have been stressful to say the least.
It is easy to get lost in the challenges we are facing, but I want to encourage you to make a conscious decision to seek out joy and laughter.
Laughter is therapeutic and a great pressure release. A study conducted in 2015 (Bains et al.) found that laughter helps reduce unpleasant feelings such as tension, anxiety, hatred, and anger, alleviates feelings of depression, improves insomnia, memory failure, and dementia. These are just a few reasons you should make sure you’re finding time to tap into that release.
Let’s commit to smiling and laughing more. Do you have a funny show, comedy special, or funny content creator that you can lean into this week? I love Martin and plan to get lost in some of my favorite Sheneneh episodes over the next few days! Let’s get our laugh on people!
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